All Over the Place

Well, it has been a whirlwind…

All of my ideas, and visions for the future swirling around and altering themselves in seconds. I suppose that’s just how life goes, especially when you have so many interests, ideas, and missions. It’s interesting to feel so motivated in so many different areas of life. Maybe, just maybe, that’s why I always quit too soon. I have an issue where once I get an idea, it becomes a montage of dozens, all with equal importance in my mind.

Taking things one step at a time is difficult when everything seems so dire, and interesting. I know I talk about my own thought processes often, but I find that it’s easier to hold onto my motivation when I do. I know that I have things to do, sometimes I just allow myself to forget. Writing this down, and occasionally looking back on it helps keep my shit together, to be perfectly honest. I can’t help but plead with you, plead with myself too, in order to keep holding myself accountable.

I often wonder if anyone is really listening, or if anyone really cares. I always come back though, to the idea that I have no reason to question that, I am fulfilling something for myself, and that’s okay too. I feel as though, society pushes people away from themselves. Everything that society is, a conglomerate of individuals if you will. When people are pushed together, sometimes it’s difficult for them to remain separate entities, they may remain in title themselves but, in everything else they are an ant to a colony, a bee to a hive, all serving a queen. It’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?

From what I’ve noticed, most of the people blogging, and/or creating, are holding onto their individualism more than most. Maybe, just maybe, we are the people clinging onto ourselves, and saying screw you to those who judge us for it. This is why I continue to create, clinging onto the idea that we are all trying to stay, and be, very much ourselves.

Monopolies, Conglomerates, and Capitalism

As I’ve been thinking about new video content I could upload, an idea popped up about educational videos. Videos about specific areas of huge companies, bringing in billions a year, and how it can affect our lives.

It’s something I’ve always questioned, and had an interest in, but I have never taken the time to learn about it. Last night, I went into research about the top 7 US companies, their revenue, employment rates, and what they are. I was interested to find that 6th is Berkshire Hathaway, run by Warren Buffett. Even more interesting was that 7th is, United Health Group bringing in 242,155,000 in 2020 so far.

This morning, as soon as I checked my phone, an article popped up about the US government starting a lawsuit against Google through antitrust laws. The government is claiming that multiple US tech corporations are holding a monopoly over their respective industries. This makes innovation and competition nearly impossible, and I’m excited to see where all this goes, even though it could take over a decade to come to a close.

Anyway, as far as video content goes, there are endless possibilities surrounding faulty/shady business practices… I wonder if people would find it interesting to hear about some of the information that is available surrounding this. It’s a lot different from anything I had planned for content, but honestly I think it’s important to have access to this kind of information, and even more important that I educate myself on some of these things. I have always been opposed to giant corporations, but I would never any factual basis on why, it’s always just been a feeling. A feeling that these corporations don’t have the individuals working under them at heart, and they certainly don’t want competition, or innovation, if they aren’t the ones headlining it.

So what do you guys think? I know it would be drastically different from what I normally talk about, and it is pretty overwhelming because there is so much to sift through but it may be a new project, that I can really put my mind to. Always keeping myself busy it seems.

Expecting Change

Is it naive to expect a life-altering change when you don’t have a plan?

I guess it seems to me that life throws things at you when you least expect it, right? I never usually give myself the time necessary, I never wait. Now, in this uncertain place, I have been taking the time.

It feels as though nothing is coming my way. I wonder if it has something to do with manifesting ideas into action, and neglecting to pursue the ‘safe option’. I understand that hard-work is mandatory in our lives, in succeeding, but, I find myself working hard on potentially all of the wrong things. There are some positives to take away from this time off, and to be honest, my mental health has been going pretty well. I have been more creative, more hopeful. On the other side of that though, I have been more unsure, and confused.

What should I expect from what I am pursuing?

It’s obvious I’ve been pursuing more creative fields, I’ve been working on a lot of things I enjoy. Coming around to the fact, the things I enjoy don’t bring me sustainability. I absolutely hate that money is what keeps the world turning. I hate that status = money, and money = power. I have no desire to increase my value monetarily, but unfortunately we are all forced to pursue it. I have long-term goals, things that require the proper funds. I want to travel, I want to buy land and start an animal sanctuary some day, I want to learn to build sustainable housing, etc.

Asking the proper questions is difficult, albeit impossible, due to the sheer volume of necessary questions. There is no possible way to ask them all at once.

Right now I have a few at the forefront of my mind. One of them being, what is most important? Is my mental health more important than making a steady paycheck? If so, how am I going to reach my long-term goals? I think these questions are probably going through everyone’s mind at certain points of their life. I think everyone has good reason to ask these questions regularly, but what about the answers? I’m not sure we are meant to get them, rather than, embrace the question itself?