Etsy Incoming

Over the past couple weeks, my life has drastically shifted in so many ways, all during a very chaotic holiday season. That said, things seem to be going in a good direction, being pushed out of my comfort zone may have been exactly what I needed.

On a whim I picked up a job at an antique shop, and have found some amazing treasures, I’ve had creativity pouring out, and I really do think the opportunities are endless. My favorite find so far is a 1945 1st edition Naked City by Weegee book. They seem to be listed at anywhere from 2-5 hundred dollars online, however rare books aren’t as coveted as they once were, and I really did fall in love with the book after looking through the pages. It’s a photography book with narration in between, the provocative photos that document NYC in the 1940s are amazing and terrifying. It’s like jumping through time, and I’ve found a real love for it.

Anyway, I am onto the next adventure, and seeing how things play out, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read my blurbs about life, and I hope you bear with me and continue to enjoy my all over the place kind of content and personality.

I did start an etsy account that is still being updated with new antique treasures quite often, and I actually plan on looking into starting a second one for antique items that I spruce up with my own artistic influence eventually. Right now though I am a bit overwhelmed with just looking through the things that are already there, and magical in their own right.

I’ll keep you guys updated as I go. I have some 1950s yearbooks that I have to photograph, I want to share them with you. It’s so amazing how different everything seemed, although my favorite picture was a girl with a vodka bottle in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. It seems college hasn’t changed all that much!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ArtsyAntiquesStudio

Ball of Creativity amidst Uncertainty

Does anyone else find that, once everything gets thrown outside of your comfort zone, you are full to the brim with ideas and opportunities?

Lately I’ve been struggling to balance all of the things that are in motion in my life. I’ve found in this process that I am able to turn uncertainty into creativity. Or creativity forces itself in times of uncertainty. Either way, I am excited for what’s in store, and I appreciate all of you bearing with me through this time. I’ve been all over the place, but there are a bunch of projects in the works that I am thoroughly looking forward to sharing with you.

Like I said, art is pouring out of my ears, and I can feel that it’ll be great, when I finally have the time to get some pieces completed.

Finding a home at an antique shop has been a mind-boggling experience, and please bear with me while I try to catch up.

Thank you, for being you.

What Just Happened

It’s been a minute since I’ve even opened up my laptop. I don’t really know what to say on here, my mind is still trying to catch up with a crazy series of events that hit me out of no where. Basically right now I am looking for a place to stay short term, until I can figure out a living situation. My car is packed up and I’m lost in space, it’s strange because I swear I had a dream about typing this up.

For tonight however, I have a warm bed to sleep in and am content. Sorry that’s really all I’ve got for now, I’m still finding time to paint and wind down throughout the days, even though I am stressed more than I have been in… well, in a very long time.

I hope the holiday season is going well for all of you, thanks for listening. Goodnight, talk to yah soon.

Artscapades

I always torture myself around the holidays, I hate Christmas shopping and still love the meaning behind handmade gifts. However, every year I trick myself into thinking that I am a quality painter, when in fact I am not. This year though, I have found a new joy in contemporary/abstract art, whether I not I give them as gifts, I have learned a lot and had a blast experimenting with color, shape, and texture.

Either way, I’ll let the art speak for itself and show you what I’ve managed over the past few days, with this style of art, I find that coming back to the painting each day and adding layer upon layer, leaves plenty of room for transformation and evolution in thought. Each piece has a story hidden beneath it’s outer shell, and to me that’s where the magic is in this type of painting.

Thinking about the view(s)

I’ve been wondering lately why it is that in this time, almost everything can be related to views. We see the world through a lens of pixels and screens, and if we aren’t being seen, we are seeing others who are. I have caught myself refreshing my stats for the day on this blog, constantly hoping someone will recognize me sitting here, all over the place, with no obvious direction, and make sure I’m seen… I’m hoping for someone else to come in and whisk me away to a place where things make sense, I find success, and everything is just a-ok because I have views and that’s all that I need right? Well I’m quite obviously wrong…. The truth really is that this blog has very little direction. It’s where I take all my interests to a screen and hope that someone else sees where I can succeed and carries me along a path that I can’t even see myself.

Alas, the world is not so simple, even with all the technology we have at our fingertips.

Alas, I am still figuring life out, seemingly at a snails pace, I’m trying to figure myself out too. Where I fit, who I can be, what I can be, and most importantly, how I can make a living in this cutthroat place.

I have dreams, and dreams require funds, and funds are only made through… well a job. I have been working again part-time during this age of Corona virus, I have been making my keep, but I strive for a passionate interest that can mean both success and a life I love. I have so many things to be grateful for, and I don’t want to take all the things that I do have for granted. I’m simply wondering, and contemplating the struggle that is finding what it is that will bring me sustenance as well as happiness.

Have any of you found a true passion in your work? What do you do? How did you find your happiness in life?

Thanks for listening to this random rant about life, what else is a young adult to do besides share their idealistic fantasies?

Acrylic Pouring Adventure

I decided to try something new, art block has been a struggle lately, so experimenting with new concepts has been a great way to spark creativity. I am excited to try more abstract painting styles in the near future, and I’m hoping some of the final products will make great Christmas gifts for family and friends. If I have any finished pieces of a good enough quality I will definitely consider selling some, if anyone is interested.

This pouring technique left my acrylic inventory dangerously low, so it looks like I will have to order more ASAP. Has anyone else tried this painting technique before? I find the whole process fascinating, and it is actually not a terribly difficult. A little disclaimer though, if you decide to try this at home, make sure you have plenty of space and cover anything and everything of value, because it is VERY messy. That happens to be one of the things I love about it though.

I decided to start this first attempt with simply water and acrylic, about a 40/60 ratio. If you are going to give it a go, the paint has to be super liquid-y for the blow dryer to efficiently spread the paint around the canvas. Overall though, the supplies needed, and the technique is quite simple. Just pour a bunch of liquid paint on the canvas and blow it around until you have a design you like! I found that the less you mess with it, the better. My first attempt went south very fast because I kept messing with different abstract styles on the same canvas, without a plan at all.

This is the one I did on a wooden canvas, I like how it turned out. However, doing this again, I would make sure the paint is well mixed, and I would put my hair up. There are a few times I had to pick hair off of the canvas, which is always annoying.
This is the one my fiancĂ© did, I’m only a bit jealous of the final product. My black acrylic was a bit old and clumpy which made using it for this technique a bit of a bitch. I’m assuming that’s why the cracking is happening on one side of the canvas. I am planning on diluting some mod podge, or other sealant after the paintings dry completely to hopefully preserve the glossiness and shiny metallic bits.

Dear Veterans

War is a terrible thing,

War is carnage and destruction.

You brave soldier have dedicated your life to a pursuit of freedom and for that I am grateful. You have made yourself a target and proudly honored your flag. What a disturbance it is to see that you aren’t taken care of after your valiance.

I have members of my family who have served, and it has been engrained in me to respect and appreciate those who are willing to do so.

However, I do not have to respect and appreciate a government that has so often cast loyal veterans aside. A government that doesn’t invest enough into soldiers acclimation back into a civil society, and a government that documents a soldiers worth off of how long they serve, or how tough they are both mentally and physically. Strength comes from those willing to accept and work on their weaknesses, the military does a great job of hardening individuals, making them more machine than human being.

Like I said, I have family members who have served, and my uncle passed this year, not from Covid or from war. I believe it was a slow degradation of the mind and spirit post-service. It lead to health issues that may have been too difficult for him to handle. The truth is I don’t know for sure how it happened, or when it started. We had always been incredibly close even though we didn’t talk as much in the past 8 years or so… We had a bond that I didn’t think needed confirmation, but I still wish he would’ve called more, I wish I would’ve called more. I wish I managed to take more trips to see him. It was always in the plan, I was going to take a road trip across the US and I would stay in Texas with him for a month or so, just to catch up, have fun, and talk for the first time as adults. I would get some advice about life, and I would listen to anything he wanted to get off of his chest. We would rekindle our friendship and drink a bunch of beer, take a few shots of whiskey. I’d leave with the promise of coming back to visit soon.

34 years was not long enough, and I wish he would’ve been better taken care of because even though he loved and respected the military, it doesn’t seem that that feeling was reciprocated. In that way, the cost was a life, it was quality of life for years, and now it’s the absence of one. And quite frankly that makes me angry.

It also makes me angry that my grandfather served in Vietnam, he went through absolute and total hell, and left with two Purple Hearts. The answer through all of the physical ailments and PTSD was opiates, and is to this day. Therapy doesn’t work as it is in the VA, trauma takes patience and years of diligence, yet once you’re done serving the operative is to get them out of your hair.

So yes, I respect, appreciate, and love the veterans of my country but, will we start taking care of them as they deserve to be taken care of?

To a new year

I’ve never been one for Birthdays, not my own at least. Whenever this time of year rolls around, I go through the ‘normal’ thought process. I question mortality, my life, and assess what I’ve done in a year.

The truth is though, that I feel somewhat fulfilled with this years progress, even though it’s 2020 the year of absolute shit storms.

It doesn’t seem that I’ve gotten very far on the surface but, I am working towards my dreams, I have gained self-confidence (even if it doesn’t seem like it). Basically, I’ve become a totally different person in a year, I’ve come closer to who I’m meant to be, I’ve let go of a lot of baggage, and I’ve become overall happier. Not to say I don’t have my dark days, not to say that I don’t still get anxious and overwhelmed, and not to say that I’m the perfect image of a stable person. For me though, progress has definitely come.

So I’m not sure if I’ll be super excited when my birthday rolls around next week, it is after all just another day but, I am going to take a moment to be proud of who I’ve become. I’m going to take a moment to visualize what I want for this next year, and I’m going to try pretty hard not to get stuck in thoughts of impending doom, and mortality. I have plenty of other days to think about that, hopefully.

All Over the Place

Well, it has been a whirlwind…

All of my ideas, and visions for the future swirling around and altering themselves in seconds. I suppose that’s just how life goes, especially when you have so many interests, ideas, and missions. It’s interesting to feel so motivated in so many different areas of life. Maybe, just maybe, that’s why I always quit too soon. I have an issue where once I get an idea, it becomes a montage of dozens, all with equal importance in my mind.

Taking things one step at a time is difficult when everything seems so dire, and interesting. I know I talk about my own thought processes often, but I find that it’s easier to hold onto my motivation when I do. I know that I have things to do, sometimes I just allow myself to forget. Writing this down, and occasionally looking back on it helps keep my shit together, to be perfectly honest. I can’t help but plead with you, plead with myself too, in order to keep holding myself accountable.

I often wonder if anyone is really listening, or if anyone really cares. I always come back though, to the idea that I have no reason to question that, I am fulfilling something for myself, and that’s okay too. I feel as though, society pushes people away from themselves. Everything that society is, a conglomerate of individuals if you will. When people are pushed together, sometimes it’s difficult for them to remain separate entities, they may remain in title themselves but, in everything else they are an ant to a colony, a bee to a hive, all serving a queen. It’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?

From what I’ve noticed, most of the people blogging, and/or creating, are holding onto their individualism more than most. Maybe, just maybe, we are the people clinging onto ourselves, and saying screw you to those who judge us for it. This is why I continue to create, clinging onto the idea that we are all trying to stay, and be, very much ourselves.