Punching Anxiety in the Balls

I decided to make a video! This is the first in (hopefully many more)…. I really want to keep creating new content and developing myself, and my place in this digital world. So even though I’m sure it won’t be easy, and I’m already immensely unsure of myself, I’m finding ways to keep going regardless. If you happen to watch this short paint with me video, I’d love to hear what you think, any ideas for new videos, and of course any tips or tricks on how to improve. Thanks for sticking around for all of my crazy ramblings, and for listening… It means more than you know.

The Start of Something New

After a lot of contemplation, I decided to splurge and buy myself some things, things that I can use to focus on art. I’ve been working on creating some designs for stickers, painting some new acrylic pieces, and overall just developing my art style. It’s been a lot of fun, and a bit overwhelming learning how to do all this. I hope someday to be able to launch an online business of sorts, my mind is moving a million miles an hour with a bunch of ideas, organizing them has been a challenge so far.

Below I will show some of my designs, stay tuned for some photos of my applications for them, I’ve been going a little sticker crazy, so there will be plenty of content to upload in the next couple weeks. I hope you’ll stick around (pun intended).

Anti-Columbus?

So Columbus Day has come and gone but I am wondering if there’s a common consensus. Does everyone know what Columbus actually did? Does everyone know how detrimental he was to whole population? How he raped, pillaged, enslaved, and murdered… To me that isn’t someone to celebrate.

The whole history of the United States is skewed and the truth is only recently coming into the light, as the books we read in public school are so biased. All written by a rich white man, who was in the position of power, following a line of oppression, and willing to exploit humans to help themselves.

Adolph Hitler himself stated that some of his inspiration for genocide came from the United States. A fascist, who killed millions, said he gained inspiration from explorers coming to an inhabited land, and ripping it away from those who had settled on it. It truly is disgusting to me that we continue to ignore what it is that we have done. Maybe not us specifically, but as a ‘culture’ we celebrate someone who destroyed an indiscriminate amount of lives.

It isn’t just about Columbus, it’s about the American perspective, it’s about our lack of knowledge, and understanding. It’s about the wrongful information we receive, in order to better fit the narrative. We are fooled into thinking our country is great. When in fact, our country could be great, we could be compassionate, empathetic, and helpful to others. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s something we can do until we acknowledge our past for what it truly is.

There is, of course, room for human error, as those in the past are just as human as we are now, and we all make mistakes. Mass murder is not something to be taken lightly. That isn’t a simple lapse in judgement. Columbus set out, commissioned by Spain to find gold. To make money, and when he found ‘savages’ (which is just ridiculous, as they had more knowledge in many areas, and had created a predominately peaceful way of life), he decided to exploit them for all they were worth, putting them in chains, forcing them to change their beliefs. Destroying not only the people themselves, but their culture as well.

How do you feel about 1492?

My thoughts on Social Media/Influencer ‘Culture'(?)

Social media is the epitome of life nowadays, and while I find that kind of scary. I can understand why we have gotten to this point, societally. It’s interesting how everyone is looking for fame, in a place that it only starting existing about a decade ago. Now I’m someone who struggles to understand social media, in terms of gaining a ‘following’. I honestly find it quite scary how marketing has gotten online. We get ‘optimized’, literally, all of the ads and marketing that we see is tailored to our searches, previous likes, etc. I’m getting a little off topic so I’ll go back to the media moguls. The people with millions of ‘fans’, people making their income off of a following.

I think it’s amazing that some people are able to make money off of their own branding. It must be awesome to make money just being you, and creating awesome content. My only qualm with this, is that it’s hard to see why everyone can’t offer the same individuality, and make money off of it. In some ways I know it isn’t realistic, but really it’s only because I’ve been told that’s unrealistic. I truly believe that everyone has quirks, and marketable ideas for social media content.

It’s hard to understand how these people even got where they are, I’m sure for most of them it was an immense amount of time and effort. But seriously, how the fuck do you gain such a massive following? What is it that that person has, that we don’t. I’m genuinely not trying to bring anyone down, or bag on social media influencers. It’s just a perplexing concept to me, it’s perplexing that some people can build a giant following in less than a year, while some are working day in and day out to produce quality content, and seeing very little progress for years upon years.

Now like I said in my last post, I’m writing this blog for me. I still have a terrible time trying to keep up with other social media platforms, and that’s okay. As much as it would be awesome to make money posting pictures on Instagram, it isn’t something I even really see as attainable. I feel as though there is a certain type of personality that excels in social media, and I think that’s great. My only dissuasion, is that I really think more diversity needs to be in social media culture. Not just different ethnicities, and backgrounds, but, different personalities too. We need some more ‘weirdos’, if you will. People who aren’t afraid to go off the beaten path, people to account for all of us who don’t fit, and don’t want to fit either. Society is exceptionally diverse, my question is, why doesn’t influencer culture reflect that?

Not so: Secret Project

After years of saving for a van, Corona Virus hits….

So with little funds, and months of unemployment, I bought a 1979 Layton trailer instead… Not a perfect plan, but a much needed project none the less.

*Drum roll please*

She may not be tip top but, she’s got some potential. The plan is to hook up some solar, put in a composting toilet, add an outdoor shower, and do some serious remodeling. But, this will be home sweet home in the next 6 months or so (fingers crossed). The first proper camping trip will commence this coming weekend, and then she’s in for a serious face lift.

Once all the work has been put in, and she’s safe for long-term travel, hopefully I’ll be able to set off for a life-changing cross country trip. Being able to see the world has always been a dream, and this is a good starting point, hopefully. Everything is uncertain, and life is going crazy. However, I plan on spending mine doing something different, taking the path less traveled (pun intended). One can only hope it’ll work out for the best, but I can settle for somewhere in-between. It’s going to be an interesting ride, that’s all I have to say.

Getting Lost

Day trips are the best when you don’t have a plan. It’s usually a hit or miss, but knowing that something incredible COULD happen, simply because you’ve set out to adventure is really fun!

We decided to just drive in one direction, and found some pretty beautiful locations. Not to mention we ate some really yummy food. A hike was in the original ‘plan’ but, deciding to scrap that was actually kinda nice. Finding a water fall, and walking around was a great way to just relax.

I find that being out in nature is amazingly refreshing, and with the seasons changing, the fall colors just starting to come out. It was a beautiful day, and a great trip. Up into the green mountains we went, and I’m so glad that we took the time to really be present for the day. Finding true beauty in the things that we so often take for granted. Sometimes it feels like the world is ending, and we are all headed towards doom and gloom, but not on days like this one.

I really encourage people to get out and take some time to breath in some fresh mountain air. There’s nothing like it, and you certainly won’t be disappointed. After being cooped up inside for so long, and being afraid of everyone, and everything. It’s great to remember that we have so much more than what we see looking outside our window.

Wild apple tree