The moon is bright in the night sky with an unexplainable shine, lighting up the clouds that billow around it. It’s like a ceremony of sorts, preparing for the new. The clouds quite literally dancing around the effervescence of the moon. Calling to it and begging to get closer, just to have one more glance before they are forced to overshadow it’s brilliant light, light that fills up the darkness and claims it. No, it will not allow there to be complete darkness, at least not on this night. On this night, it is full and beautiful, it is prepared to fight against the forces that are determined to hide it. The sky is alive tonight. Truly alive, moving and breathing in it’s own way, in such a poetic way that it brings tears to my eyes. It is like seeing the world from a completely different perspective, this light is different, this light is raw and real. My perspective now is as if I am a group of atoms taking up space that is not meant to be mine. I am here, but I am simply occupying space that vibrates with life, life so much more profound than my own.
It’s cool light, a light completely unfazed by the material world and living a life completely its own. I am lucky enough to be here in this perfect moment, in this moment where the clouds open up perfectly around the moon, heeding to something other than the wind, not allowing themselves to give way to the path they are meant to take. I stand and I watch this dance, this movement of things that I know in my head are not alive, but in my heart I feel them dancing, I feel them proceeding with their own ceremony, a ceremony recognizing life and beauty and light. And as quickly as it started, the wind pushes the clouds over the moon, but the dancing doesn’t stop, the dancing won’t stop. The cycle will continue, the dance, the fight, the awe-inspiring light won’t be tamed, not tonight.
I continue to write, to think, and to breathe the wild. My heart soars in my daydreams and is crushed in reality. I feel this incessant ache in my chest when I think of the beauty that is out there and the beauty I have yet to see. How do I make my dreams a reality, how do I carry on in a world that rips my dreams away on a daily basis. Am I crazy, weird, or am I just unique? Everyone in this amazing world has dreams and aspirations, I’m willing to bet that everyone of them is different. Unfortunately that isn’t what societal conformity is all about, and sadly most individual voices will never be heard, or seen, or achieved. Being told that things are improbable, if not impossible, as you want them is deafening to the human psyche and will continue to destroy dreams until we decide to change our mindset on life and pursue what we love. Simply because we want to, not because it will be the most lucrative or ‘successful’. What else is success besides finding immense joy in life? Why do we waste time following a carbon copy of what we should be? Is it fear of the unknown? I know that I’m afraid, constantly, I’m afraid of what may become of this world, of the ecosystem, and of me. I wonder if there is a place for me here, will I be able to ever truly be happy, being who I am? Will I be able to live the crazy, amazing life that I dream of? It seems like nowadays all I do is dream. I long for a life that I don’t have, yet. The truth is though that I am drawn enough to this dream that I will either make it to that place, to that feeling or die trying. In these daydreams that I have, I feel shadows of an emotion that I have yet to experience completely and my drive comes solely from that. I absolutely need to experience that feeling completely. I need what I crave, this dream is an addiction, I find pieces of the feeling that I want so desperately in small things, day hikes, or a beautiful sunset, even birds chirping in the morning, a single tree that catches my eye. The feeling I crave is so easy to catch in small doses, but I need more, and it drives me to achieve. I need that joy and I will spend my whole life searching for it. I’m okay with that, excited for it. My real concern is, are you? Are you dreaming, hoping, achieving? Are you working for something you want or for something you are told to want? There is an unsurmountable difference between living for what you want and living for what you should want. Spend everyday questioning what you know and feel, and try to find the you that has been overshadowed. You will be very glad you did.