Dreams that Sting

I woke up abruptly today, after being stung in the chest, by a very large wasp.

It was a dream of course, but as I was trying to pull this wasp out of my skin… I felt panic. I don’t know how many people out there have dreams that really just elicit serious emotion, but this one for some reason continues to stay fresh in my mind.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a bee tattoo, because I LOVE bees. I know wasps aren’t the same, but honestly, I’ve never really had any qualms with them either. That said, it was just strange to have such an aggressive sign push its’ way into my subconscious.

Now, after waking from this dream I decided to use the interweb to find out what it may signify. What it said was, that it is a symbol of evil, hatred, or anger coming into your life. So, that’s terrifying. I’m choosing to believe the more optimistic sign that it could be, and that is, telling you to pursue your dreams. Pursue the thing that scares you, because if you don’t start you can never see where it goes. While this is something I’ve been talking about in previous posts, I’ll reiterate that I am currently unemployed, I have dreams to pursue my own business, rather than go back to the restaurant industry. The problem is, I have anxiety, I have doubts about myself, and my value.

I’m sure many of you may feel similarly, but it’s just such a shitty feeling. It’s shitty to feel uncomfortable in your own skin, with your own mind, etc. I want to truly embrace everything that I am, without the fear of others judgement, or disapproval. I want to pursue art, and passion, and love of life. In today’s society that’s such a difficult concept, it feels as though everything is pushing away from the individual, and leading to a conglomerate of money, power, and greed. That may be how it has always been, human nature is a bitch after all, but I want to push humbly forward, meeting myself somewhere, where I can be helpful, successful, and proud.

There’s my rant for today, my talk about mental health issues, about scary dreams, and about life. Thanks for reading.

My Goals for the coming months.

I’m going to start off by saying that, as of right now, I’m incredibly excited to work on some new projects. I genuinely thrive off of having personal projects to work on.

As some may know, I bought a 1979 Layton trailer to remodel, and eventually travel in. Demolition has been going well, however it’s still daunting, and almost surreal. There’s so much work to do, and for a person who constantly stresses about time passing, it’s a bit terrifying I’ll be honest. However, all said and done, I’m super excited to be working on my travel dreams, FINALLY! Sometimes I do question the state of the world, and how safe it is to travel nowadays, but we have a while to go before the trailer is anywhere near long-term travel ready. Maybe things will get better, maybe they’ll get worse, but I’m going to see national parks all over the US, and no-one can stop me!

An idea that I’ve had forever, is making stickers and prints, of some of my pieces. I don’t know how well that one will work out. Honestly though, I would love to be able to share my art, and in turn, my perspective, ideas, and mind. So over the next months, I’m going to be working on editing, formatting, testing, and so many other things involved with producing art. Most of all, I’m going to keep creating. For me, that is the most exciting and revolutionary part, to think the motivation all started with a week long doodling challenge that I had set out for myself.

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read, it is amazing to find a community so supportive, and I hope to continue sharing my life, and art, with you.

“I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.”Ernst Fischer