The world is seen through a hole in a shoebox.
All of these little fully functional, all included shoe boxes, with an oven that is guaranteed to have cooked meth at one point, and is certainly through on its’ warranty. A bathtub designed to fill up with black sludge when it decides to rain. Lights that flicker and outlets that don’t work.
Let’s not forget the constant movement of all of the other shoebox villagers so close and near to your home, invading privacy with no intent to do so. All the noise and chatter heard at all hours not like a symphony but like the script for a play about gang violence and income inequality. This is what I know, it’s something I’m used to. Yet, I still feel as uncomfortable in my own home as I always have. This isn’t home, it’s not where my heart is. It’s just another little stack of lives, and families, and human beings all crunched together and trying to live the life that they feel they deserve.
And how the world is full of these shoebox complexes, some are shinier I’m sure, and some are far more tattered but yet they all seem to me to be the same. I’m cramped and claustrophobic and I long for a place much more my own. A place to feel safe, to feel connected to my own version of the world, a place to think and feel and breath without the buzzing of this little human ecosystem all around me.
….. I wish I knew what to say.
What is this chaos, injustice, misinformation, misuse of power. How has our world gotten so corrupt, so lost in toxicity and hate.
I wish I knew what to say.
I’m at a loss for words, because there is no perfect word for what I am feeling.
Outraged, Disappointed, Depressed, Confused, Lost.
We need to welcome positive change, we need to band together as human beings, people all living on the same planet, all with one real, true, need. Life.
Writers block has hit hard… I’m unsure if I can even call myself a writer as I have been so adverse to sitting down and writing anything down. It’s a bitch of a hand to be dealt. Not knowing where it is that you best fit. I think most people deal with this issue, and some come to a conclusion easier than others. It’s just in my bones I know I can contribute to society, I know I can offer a unique perspective. However, being shot down over, and over again. It’s hard. It’s inescapable, and it’s drowning unique ideas in a myriad of falsities and under represented populations. The system as it is, is broken. We have new voices being silenced and old perspectives are taking precedence. It just seems that with all of the technological advancement and changes in how we run as a society. We should change how society runs. We should change who is heard, who is acclaimed. I’m certainly not saying that it should be me, but I am saying that new voices need to be heard. There are so many issues with the way society is running, there are so many discrepancies in our school of thought as a whole. The new has been trying to work its’ way into the big picture. The problem is, is that, no one is willing to listen. Change is hard, and things are already difficult. Tension is high, and hysteria has made its way all around the globe. We are struggling to pick up pieces and put them back together. The problem is, that we have so many new pieces, so many new facets of life, in the modern world, how are we supposed to make different puzzles fit together? Why don’t we just throw away the fucking puzzle and make a new one? We need to be organized as a society, sure, but why don’t we allow new voices to take stage for a while? We need patience, and the availability to be heard, even if the ideas are new. Rather, BECAUSE the ideas are new.